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Thursday, May 28, 2009

[Fiction] Friday - May 29, 2009

 This post is for [Fiction] Friday for May 29, 2009.
The challenge was to write a poem about "A Fallen Star"


A Fallen Star 

There it lies, in the pit of my mind.
The fallen star, and the trailing line.

It came from the black, of outer space.
It came from being, in just one place.

It shot across the sky, on a slight angle.
With no sounds, no jingle or jangle.

What made it move, and why so fast?
How long was it there? How long did it last?

This fallen star, helpless and cold.
I wonder your age, how young or how old.

Why have you fallen? Why are you here?
So many questions, I have for you dear.

But you can't answer, my fallen star.
I'll never know why you came, or who you are.

copyright Uncle Tee Books

6 comments:

Jodi Cleghorn said...

This is the sort of thing I would love to read to my son - it has a easy lyrical quality but with enough deeper interesting content to engage the quick, slippery minds of small kids like my son.

I can just imagine my answers to "why did the star fall" "why did it come to earth" "how longs was it out there?" "do falling stars have birthdays too?"

Jodi Cleghorn said...

and I meant to add - you can find my entry here http://jodicleghorn.blogspot.com/2009/05/fiction-friday-derby.html

M. D. Benoit said...

As I said in a previous post, I know nothing of poetry, but I thought this was cute, and as Jodi said, something you could read to your child. It has a potential educational element (where do stars come from?) that could be exploited by parents as well.

Annie Evett said...

Gorgeous rhythm . One doesn't have to have intimate understanding of poetry to know if you like it or not. Just like wine - there are only two types - the stuff you like and the stuff you don't. People try and get too caught up with it all and forget the heart of the message.
My efforts for FF can be found here

http://annieevett.blogspot/2009/05/power-or-recognition.html

eclecticchair said...

You're getting a lot of people who know nothing about poetry and I'll not buck the trend. I only know one thing about poetry: what I like. I like this, like Annie said it has a very nice rhythm that makes it easy to read, it flows together well.

Uncle Tee said...

People mentioned that they would like to read a story like this to their kids. I have taken the advice and created a children's book. It's my eighth book to date with many more coming. Check it out at www.UncleTeeBooks.com

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