Friday, June 19, 2009

[Fiction] Friday - June 19, 2009

Include this line in your story…(your character) closed his/her eyes, took a deep breath, and jumped..

Tony stood there, at the edge of the pool, sweating. His skin was tacky from the globs of sunscreen that his mother caked on and his arms were angled out slightly to avoid sticking to his sides. His eyes were squinted from the bright reflection of the hazy sky above bouncing off the water.

The thermometer was just about at one hundreds degrees Fahrenheit. The weather report said it was going to be a hazy, hot and humid day, the first real scorcher of the summer. This was the beginning of a heat wave they predicted.

The waters glassy surface was flat even though it glistened thousands of sparkling spikes of sunlight. Tony bent one leg down and dipped his toes from his other foot in the water causing half circle waves to spread across the pool slowly.

“Feels pretty good.” Tony said to his father who was standing right next to him.

“Okay, let’s do it then…are you ready?” His father asked.

“I’m ready…” Tony replied. “I’ll go first.”

Tony closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and jumped out as far as he could to reach the middle of the pool as he yelled, “Whoooohoooo!”

As he crashed through the flat surface of the water he felt the change in temperature from the hot humid air to the cold settled water at the bottom of the pool. He immediately pushed his feet to the floor and raised himself back up out of the water.

“Cold! Ahh…its still cold on the bottom!” He hollered as he stood up in the middle of the pool.



jabblog said...

You've captured very well that transition from heat to cold - lovely to read on a hot day.

James Ashelford said...

I liked that moment of shock at the end when he hit the water. Physical sensations can be hard to convey (I find that, anyway) but you did it well there.

Mine own:

Annie Evett said...

ohhhhh brrrrrr. I totally relate to him - I am a real big girls blouse when it comes to the first jump in the pool when summer comes round. you captured his nervousness and longing beautifully.

my FF can be found here

Anonymous said...

I think you've described me when I'm getting into a pool. Nervous, anxious, hesitant... then I eventually just close my eyes, take a deep breath and do a cannonball plunge, as close to the kids that were making fun of me as I possibly can land!

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