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Friday, June 5, 2009

[Fiction] Friday - June 5, 2009

This weeks challenge is to use:
“Don’t sit there,” she commanded. “That’s the cat’s chair.”
in a story.
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The doorbell rang just as I was making my way down the stairs. I had my tuxedo on and I was ready to go. It’s going to be a night of rocking and partying.

 My friends and I rented a limo and a small dance hall for the night. We’re throwing a big bash for one of our friends who is joining the Armed Forces. He’ll be leaving in two days.

“Hey, you ready?” Geo said after I opened the door.

“Just about man, I just have to grab some stuff from the kitchen, c’mon.” I replied.

Geo was all decked out in his classic James Bond tuxedo. His girlfriend was waiting out in the limo and we had to hurry so we could pick up everyone else including the U S Army’s newest recruit, Freddy.

“Dude, what are you doing? We gotta go.” Geo said impatiently.

“I know I know, just don’t distract me and I can go faster.” I told him as I gathered up a few things.

Just then our white cat came sashaying through the kitchen like she owned the place.

“Watch out…if she brushes up against your tux, your legs will be all white.” I told him as she was circling around the kitchen looking for attention. “C’mon Angel, get out of here…shooo!”

“Hey, git...get any from me.” Geo said as he tried to keep away from Angel.

“Angel…c’mere leave them alone.” My mother called to Angel as she walked in the kitchen. “Well look at you two…are you leaving now?”

“In a minute…” I answered.

“We are as soon as he’s ready…” Geo sarcastically answered my mother as he stepped back to sit down.

“Don’t sit there,” she commanded. “That’s the cat’s chair.”

“What…why…aw man!” Geo exclaimed as he turned to look at the back of his pants.

They were covered in white cat hair.

“That’s where Angel sleeps and cleans herself…” I told him as he was trying to brush off the cat hair. Then I handed him a wad of tape. “Here…try this…brushing it ain’t goin’ work.”

“Man, this is why we don’t have a cat.” Geo said while trying to remove the hair from his tux.

copyright Uncle Tee Books

4 comments:

Jodi Cleghorn said...

white cat hair - black tux ... nice! Well not if you're the one wearing it.

I'd carve out all the dialogue attribution and keep the conversation snappy - but that's just my own personal tic with attribution.

You can read my contribution http://jodicleghorn.blogspot.com/2009/06/fiction-friday-rain.html"

almckillop said...

Well this just sounds like my house - two cats, hair everywhere. Nice quick story. Look forward to reading more of your Fiction Friday's.

You can read mine here, but it is a bit longer than yours :-)
http://almckillop.wordpress.com/

Vanessa said...

Nice sweet story. You could probably tighten up the writing a little, but as it stands, it is an easy read.
Thank you for sharing.

Annie Evett said...

Hi - loving how you just got the blood on the page and write the story - exactly what FF is about - just writing for at least 5 mins - no editing - no judging yourself - just getting it out. It takes a huge amount of courage to post a first draft up and allow others to critique it. If you choose to - you can now go back and edit it to your hearts content.
It has a charming innocence about the work and has elements most people - cat lovers or not can identify with.. thanks for sharing.

visitors can find mine on

http://annieevett.blogspot.com/2009/06/prompt-include-this-line-in-your-story.html

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